“On epilogues”

I’m supposed to believe
that this body is resolution
to conflict now melted into the air
people don’t understand
how I can piece any of it out of the sky,
how many of my good parts have staled
in exchange for breathing underwater.

I’m supposed to believe
that I am a being overflowing with love
but when left uncalibrated
this becomes my worst personality trait,
some organism inside me demanding
for any wound to put back together
as a kind of gift to open on a rainy day.

I’m supposed to believe
that I can continue without bandages,
live past the stings and undercuts,
the still in between rage and tears, whispers of

we good?/I hope you’ve found someone good for you/please don’t leave

to which I’ll reply

To keep my sanity, I have to accept that
I can never stop tending to you

Published by troycabida

Troy Cabida (he/him) is a Filipino poet and producer based in south west London. His recent poems have appeared in TAYO Literary Magazine, harana poetry, MacMillan and bath magg. He is a producer for London open mic night Poetry and Shaah and co-founder of Liwayway Kolektibo, an arts and culture network providing space for UK-based Filipino/a/x creatives. His debut pamphlet, War Dove, was published by Bad Betty Press in 2020. Photo taken by Ray Roberts.

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